Invisible vampires walk among us, undetected to the naked eye, yet they create chaos in our lives to get their own way. I know you have one or two in your life: they are the people who make you feel depleted and deflated after one interaction. You walk away emotionally drained and physically tired. And, you scratch your head as to why you feel sucked dry like a raisin.
They are verbal bullies who use words which becomes like a huge tidal wave towering above you ready to crash down on you at any moment. From their experience, if they keep badgering you enough, you will give in and they will get their way.
A friend of mine was experiencing this sort of energy vampire recently and I could see it was overwhelming her to the point she didn’t know what to do or how to make it stop. I told her to send the vampire my way and I would be her bulldog.
Well, I went toe to toe with this one last night. She called late to have a conversation about certain issues regarding my friend and my friend’s new business venture. As the conversation progressed, I could feel her tidal wave build to try and topple me into giving in. What she didn’t expect was that I stood my ground. Her verbal tidal wave crashed and had difficulty recovering.
I learned a few things about handling these energy vampires that I thought I would pass along.
- Stand your ground and don’t back down, no matter how much they bulldoze you.
- Keeps your words clear succinct and to the point of your expectations.
- Always pull the conversation back to the main point when the vampire tries to go off on tangents to confuse and overwhelm you.
- Recognize that you know you facts on the subject at hand, welcome any feedback, but still maintain your point.
- Do not fall into the trap to justify how you know what you know. They will challenge your authority. It is not their business.
- Thank them for their interest, welcome their input on future conversations, but still stick to what you feel is important.
- Do not allow them a foot hold to bully you into giving in. Hold your ground, stand strong in your convictions and they will back down.
- Keep your tone even and friendly, solid and strong.
It was amazing as I held my ground, she began to retreat and back down. I believe she recognized that I was open to her feedback, but other agenda items needed to be in place before we could move forward on her ideas. With my experience, facts, and understanding of the work needed, I was able to diffuse the verbiage and hopefully move forward in a more coherent manner.