As I look back on the past year, I realized that I lost time. I rushed through from one thing to the next. Always pushing harder and harder to make it through. I barely came up to breathe and if I did, it was only to dive in again.
I had to always be doing something..anything just to feel productive. I filled the time but I didn’t live in the moments. Funny thing is, I remember it happening, slowly at first, last january and it just never stopped.
This year, it’s time to slow down and remember that it’s ok to do nothing sometimes during the day. As a single mom, I try to maximize productivity while Mina is in school or with her father and I rarely put time for myself into that equation. I feel guilty if I sit too long with a cup of tea by the window. I should be doing something, I hear the voices in my head say..
This year will be less doing and more being.
Being ok with how others think of me
I want a year filled with impromptu magical adventures that we will talk about over hot cocoa or iced tea for years to come.
I noticed that a lot of my “doing” last year was for others and their needs. What I realized is that many will say they have your best interests at heart, but really it boils down to how can you shift to fill their needs. Only you can truly have your best interests at heart because you know how you want your life to look like. So much time spinning in circles trying to fill other’s needs that I was so dizzy I couldn’t see my own and I lost balance.
So, I am going to stop…Stop doing & start being.
It’s time to create stories again. Of what? I have absolutely no idea, but what a fun ride it will be finding out!