Learning how to say how you feel and explain it in a way others can understand is hard. It is a lesson Mina is learning this week. Her dad is coming back soon after about 5 weeks in Turkey and the proposed visitation schedule is not what Mina had anticipated.
At first, I wanted to take her thoughts and write her feelings and wishes myself to her dad, but then I stopped myself. This isn’t a discussion for me and her dad, but a discussion between Mina and her dad. She needs to learn how to express herself and her needs, hear him out, and they need to work together for a compromise.
It is hard for me to just sit back and not try and be her voice. If I did that, how would she learn how to have a discussion and learn to make a compromise. I still struggle myself with telling others what I need and how my needs are not being met because it it goes back to my own issues with self worth. Mina has a stronger sense of self than I did at her age and I don’t want to take over and squash it.
I also feel that both Mina and her dad need to hear each others feelings, needs, and wants. When I am being the intermediary between them, the raw truth gets lost. I don’t want either to feel that I am influencing the situation for my benefit, so I am backing off.
I have sat with Mina the past few days as she has written her thoughts down on her tablet. She writes and I help her with spelling, nothing more.
This is a life lesson that she needs to learn, tools for her to take her from fear to strength. Her voice and her words have meaning. She will find her own way of expressing them without me speaking for her.
It’s hard not knowing how it will all come out, but we will all work through it together.